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November 30th, 2006

Call to arms - Posted by Psycho Goldfish

Now that WGM is up and running we’re calling on all you game addicts out there to give your favorite games a shoutout on out forums, where we can harvest the cream of the crop and get them some promotion.

If you don’t have a forum account and are too lazy to sign up, you can also shoot an email to josh(at)psychogoldfish.com with a link and any comments you may have about the site.

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November 30th, 2006

Bow Man 2 - Posted by Psycho Goldfish

Any fan of turn based aim-and-fire games like scorched earth, worms, etc… will probably find this game as fun as I did.

Bow Man 2 is pretty much the exact same archer vs archer game we saw in Bow Man 1, but with a few new game modes added to expand the overall enjoyability a bit more. Now you can shoot target practice, or hunt birds…. just don’t play with Dick Cheney.

In all of the game modes, you click and drag to draw a line and release to fire an arrow. The line has x/y numbers on each end that are very helpful in adjusting your shots and can be the key to victory.

In the main game, you goal is to bleed your opponent to death before he can do the same to you. The bodies seemed to have location sensitivity, so if you hit a leg 4 times, the player would still keep fighting back, but a few good chest shots would take him down.

The art isn’t very good, just black buffed out stick figures and line art for mostly everything else. The birds aren’t too terribly bad, but they aren’t very impressive either.

The sound is very minimal as well. I counted a total of 4 sound effects in the whole game.

Even with poor art and sound, this game stands tall providing just as much minute wasting value as a magnifying glass and an ant farm on a bright sunny day and shows that, when it comes to games, the gameplay is all that matters.

[ Play Bow Man 2 ]

Score: 6/10

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November 30th, 2006

Enjoyable Horse Racing - Posted by _altr_

GIDDY UP YOU SON BITCH!

Enjoyable Horse Racing, made by Andy Brown
combines some nice graphics with a bunch of options to make this a fairly addictive game.

What I love most is the real time tracking of the actual race, seeing which horse is where. A close tie for that is the shopping and unlocking horses. It’s a casino game mixed in with some RPGish elements.
The interface is smooth and very easy to learn (I judge something easy if I can pick it up in a minute or so, haha) and with the above mentioned shop and unlock ables, along with a great help section and saving, this is really an underrated game, in my opinion.

Haha, irony, I gotta piss like a race horse at the moment so go play it while I try not to piss on the carpet, AGAIN…

[ Enjoyable Horse Racing ]

Score: 6/10

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November 29th, 2006

Playing Field 2 - Posted by Psycho Goldfish

MercuryLime has really tapped into a potentially great game idea. While Playing Field 2 falls short of being the next great game, it’s still a very fun way to waste some time and avoid having to go outside if only for a few minutes.

The basic concept is, you are ‘God‘ and you have nothing better to do than smash, blast and fry the helpless stick-men and trippy characters that live in your world. The gameplay is real basic, you move your mouse around a 3d plane using some element of destruction to lay waste to the innocent. Actually… that sums up the entire game.

There is no story, no goal, no sense of purpose. Without that bit of direction the fun only lasts until you have unlocked all the weapons and levels, which takes a mere 5 minutes.

The music is generic techno, but not so bad as to kill the game. The sounds are pretty decent, if repetitive, but all the screaming has a certain satisfaction.

The art could be a lot better. The main targets are stick-men, the ultimate artistic cop-out, but the backgrounds and weapons aren’t all that bad, which makes me think this game could have looked a lot better with some extra effort.

I would really love to see what could be done with this series if it was given the time and attention to flush it out into a full game with an actual goal and some amped up art and sound.

If you have some tension against a minority group and you don’t want to have an outburst during your stand-up comedy act, I would suggest playing this for 10 minutes or so and let out your racial anger where it belongs… the Internet.

[ Play Playing Field 2 ]

Score: 5/10

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November 27th, 2006

Sling - Posted by Psycho Goldfish

If you were one of those kids that liked to go spelunking in your nose and fling your mucus treasures with wild abandon, then the Edis Brothers have made the perfect game for you.

In Sling, you play the role of a stretchy-armed booger… thing… who must sling and bounce his way around several levels in order to return stolen power elements to the booger homeworld.

The gameplay is so easy to grasp you can just skip the tutorials (assuming you aren’t one of them people with an “uncle-brother”). All you do is grab the little snot, stretch him back and let go to watch him sling through the air, hopefully grasping whatever you were aiming at.

Most of the play involves coating white nodes with your boogie-goo, which will open a portal to the next level. The challenge is getting to the portal before your time limit runs out.

The art is really well done, especially for one of these physics type games, and the sound and music is very suiting.

The combination of gameplay and physics is very well done in this game and if you are up to the challenge, you could end up wasting a LOT of time flinging a booger around.

So go ahead and relive your childhood…. Sling some snot today!

[ Play Sling ]

Score: 8/10

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November 27th, 2006

Snowball Warfare - Posted by Psycho Goldfish

This Shockwave title from Monsterland Web Games takes place in a snow-covered town where the main character has had his snow-racer stolen by the local snow bullies. The only way to get it back is to gather your friends and form a snow flinging legion the likes of which have not been seen since the great Canadian moose war of 1896.

This game plays like a simplified RTS game. You click on the people you w ant to control, click where you want to walk, or click on who you want to attack. So simple, it’s almost brilliant.

The graphics are all done in 3D with a stylized look fitting for any animated Christmas movie. The environments are a bit plain, but what else can you expect for a game that takes place in snow.

The sound effects are a bit cartoony, much like the art, and keeps the game feeling lighthearted. There is no music so if you are anal about having music in a game I suggest you open up winamp and make your own soundtrack.

The characters you encounter have varying attacks such as straight-up snowball hurling and larger snow-shovel attacks. You can find powerups that make your attacks more effective, and health pickups to keep you alive for whatever trick the snow bullies have around the corner.

I did find that this game was kind of slow to start, but once I started recruiting more friends it got a lot more interesting. Given the season, you should definitely give this a go.

[ Play Snowball Warfare ]

Score: 8/10

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November 26th, 2006

Maggotz - Posted by Psycho Goldfish

I was digging around and didn’t find any terribly new games worth playing, so I started googling for something I had never played before. What I found was Maggotz from MouseBreaker.com.

Maggotz is definately different than most games I’ve played online. It’s kind of a puzzle/survival game where you simply rotate a wheel that has holes in it, with the intent of keeping maggots away from a skull.

What starts out as an easy game quickly gets frantic as the maggotz attack with varying speeds, and orbs that alter the speed and direction your wheel rotates pop up to complicate things. I played it for about 5 minutes before I lost, and was overall satisfied with it, but I didn’t bother firing up another round.

The graphics are simple, but still nice to look at. The sound is very minimal, and is mostly ‘borrowed’ from Lemmings. For such a simple game, neither factor really makes or breaks the enjoyability of this title.

If you like survival type games you’ll probably enjoy this one, but if you are looking for something that’s going to be intense and have a lot of variety, I doubt you’ll play this more than once or twice.

[ Play Maggotz ]

Score: 5.5/10

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November 26th, 2006

More Beer - Posted by _altr_

BEER! MORE! Created for http://www.dragongamez.com by Max Abernethy, this Pipes type like clone deals with priorities unparraled to none: getting beer to those in need!

As with the old school Pipes game, you must get the pipes running in such a way so they hit the bar patrons, at the top. It helps actually READING the tips, so pay attention damn it. For every extra pipe you add, you score more points, which gives it awesome replay value. Later on, you get helpful power ups, as in a wrench to turn the pipes and a hammer to destroy misplaced pipes/you’re running out of room AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

My main complaint is is that it’s not at a strip bar, unless he has released another version somewhere. Anybody loving a simple mouse based game where you need to be semi quick while thinking in advance will easily be hooked on this. I was on step 11 till i decided to review this. Sucks to be me =( .

Really, don’t play this without reading the instructions/tips. They are there for a reason you casual game playing monkeys. A very addictive game with some well thought out levels. Playing drunk doesn’t help. I tested that for you, haha.

[ Play More Beer now ]

Score: 9/10

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November 25th, 2006

Pearls Before Swine - Posted by Psycho Goldfish

So you want to play a game huh?

I’ve never been a huge fan of mind games, mostly because they ultimately end up making my brain hurt, but this game was different. It still made my brain recoil like Rodney King at the policeman’s ball, but the presentation kept me glued to the game for far too long.

Unlike most mind games you don’t feel like you are playing this solo. The computer character, Juan, not only provides challenges in 3 variations of the game, he is also pretty interactive.

If you make a dumb move he giggles at you, a good move and he stops to think. And if he wins, he laughs at you like they laugh at John Wayne Bobbit in the YMCA locker room.

When I first started playing I thought “oh this is ghetto basic, I can beat this”, but now I feel more owned than youtube. DAMN YOU JUAN!!!!!!!!!!
The graphics are about as good as you can get for a simple game like this, and they get better with each ‘episode’. The voice acting is a bit inconsistent, but it’s good enough to make you want to beat that smug bastard and maybe steal his watch.

It’s just insane how long even someone with my short attention span can spend clicking on pearls and losing dignity faster than Fox News loses credibility. Pearls Before Swine is the perfect way to waste your time, and it could take hours to solve the challenges of all 3 episodes. It sure beats going “outside”.

[ Play Pearls Before Swine ]

Score: 7.5/10

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November 25th, 2006

ChromaBlast - Posted by _altr_

To blow on PG’s horn, and bite it off in furious angry, I gotta review this game, this being a great Dr. Mario vs. aids vs. tetris dealio. I was late to work the morning he first uploaded it, the bastard, it’s that much fun.

Like Dr. Mario, you have to line up the same color of aids, 4 in this case, but his Canadian based syrup mindset included more columns to dick with, up and down, and bits of aids that turn into GIANT AIDS!

With 30 levels to play with/kill your mailman in frustrating, it not only is pretty but also kicking the dog at times, which makes it so good. After playing it for almost 2 years, I still haven’t beat it 100%, which leads me to believe:
(1) it’s a cheating Canadian
(2) it’s a great game, despite it being Canadian

Overall, PG made a great clone with great graphics that I’d like to GREATLY kill him for, cause it’s that challenging. My complaints though is that there’s no pause button and no sound turn off. The great part, which I’ll ever be thankful for, is the red laser beam that shoots up, to help you better to be able to place your aids.
Link some screenies of you beating level 30, so I can kill myself, thanks in advance. I’m off to nuke Canada now…

[ Play ChromaBlast now ]

Score: 9/10

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