So you want to play a game huh?

I’ve never been a huge fan of mind games, mostly because they ultimately end up making my brain hurt, but this game was different. It still made my brain recoil like Rodney King at the policeman’s ball, but the presentation kept me glued to the game for far too long.

Unlike most mind games you don’t feel like you are playing this solo. The computer character, Juan, not only provides challenges in 3 variations of the game, he is also pretty interactive.

If you make a dumb move he giggles at you, a good move and he stops to think. And if he wins, he laughs at you like they laugh at John Wayne Bobbit in the YMCA locker room.

When I first started playing I thought “oh this is ghetto basic, I can beat this”, but now I feel more owned than youtube. DAMN YOU JUAN!!!!!!!!!!
The graphics are about as good as you can get for a simple game like this, and they get better with each ‘episode’. The voice acting is a bit inconsistent, but it’s good enough to make you want to beat that smug bastard and maybe steal his watch.

It’s just insane how long even someone with my short attention span can spend clicking on pearls and losing dignity faster than Fox News loses credibility. Pearls Before Swine is the perfect way to waste your time, and it could take hours to solve the challenges of all 3 episodes. It sure beats going “outside”.

[ Play Pearls Before Swine ]